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Ex Doesn’t Know What He Wants: 20 Biggest Signs

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Ex Doesn’t Know What He Wants. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him, and he doesn’t seem to know what he wants. You may be wondering if it’s worth pushing for anything at all or if you should just let him go. 

The decision is yours but here are some things to consider before moving forward: Do you still love this person? If so, do they show any signs of wanting the same thing from life that you want? Are there children involved in the relationship?

Ex Doesn't Know What He Wants
Ex Doesn’t Know What He Wants

These are very important questions and need answers before making any big decisions about your future together.

Ex Doesn’t Know What He Wants: 20 Biggest Signs

When you are in a relationship with someone, it can be not easy to know what they want. Whether the person is your partner or ex-partner, this can make things complicated and frustrating. However, 20 signs may indicate whether or not he wants you back in his life. These include: 

1) He texts more often than before:

when you were together, there may have been a certain standard for your texting habits. Maybe you texted him once per day or even less frequently, at least less than he did to you. However, now that you’ve broken up and he’s trying to get back into your good graces, he may text more often than before (even if it was because of the breakup).

2) He wants to hang out:

when a guy wants another shot with someone he cares about, his first thought will be about seeing her again. If he had no interest in just being friends, he wouldn’t have initiated this contact and would return to his pre-breakup self.

3) He wants to see you again:

if he made a point about his intentions, he would make another attempt at seeing you. This time around, though, it will be more casual than before. You may not even need to be the one who initiates this contact again; in fact, he may do so for you if you are hesitant about it.

4) He asks you what he did wrong:

if a guy wants another shot with you, the first thing on his mind will be how to get back into your good graces. For some people, they may have expected you to initiate this contact again or do so once he’s tried contacting you again.

However, if he admits that what he did was wrong, then this is a sign that perhaps there was no malicious intent in the first place.

5) He admits that he’s jealous of you:

jealousy is a sign to tell you how much someone cares about you. If there was no jealousy, then he may have lost interest in the first place. However, if this feeling resurfaces once more, then it means that he still has feelings for you and feels bad for losing what he used to have.

6) He tries to make himself attractive again:

If your ex wants another shot with his former partner, the next step will be trying to make himself look good again. This could mean wearing nice clothes or taking care of his hair again.

Whatever the change might be, it will give him an idea of how badly he needs your approval back again (in a different way)

7) He asks about your new relationship:

If he wants another shot with you and thinks it’s still possible, the next step will be getting his facts straight (if there’s time for this).

This means that he will ask about who you are dating currently or even seek out other information. If you have not yet been in a new relationship, he may ask why you are not in one yet.

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8) He talks about the future:

if a person wants another chance with someone else, he believes he can change and become better at getting along with them and others. When people want something badly enough, they will try to make it happen or create a better situation for themselves.

This is something that people try to do if they want another shot with you; even if he gets angry, he will do this to win you back

9) He wants to get close:

When you were together, maybe he put up a wall so that no one else could come between the two of you. Now that there is a separation in your relationship, he feels more at ease with getting closer to another person (namely you).

If this is the case, he will try to make you feel comfortable around him. He may hug you too many times or be physically close to your own body so that they can feel his presence as well if anyone else comes near.

10)He wants to make things easier:

when two people are not together, they may realize how much more difficult it is to maintain the relationship than when they were actually in one. Maybe your ex realizes that he hasn’t been treating you very well and wants to change that if he has the chance.

11) He compliments your new look:

If he tells you how great it is that you’ve started working out or taking care of yourself, then this means that he sees an improvement in what’s important to him and will want to be associated with such positive things–like you.

12) His social media posts seem like he’s trying to make contact:

Much in the same way that you are trying to make contact, your ex will do so as well. He may see something on your Facebook page and comment on it or even share it with his friends–this is all a part of making sure that you know he’s paying attention again.

13) He asks about your new hobbies:

If your partner wants another chance, he will ask you what else you’re doing with yourself besides just him. This means there could be some jealousy going on for this person; maybe he doesn’t want anyone else getting close to his former partner but him.

Maybe he feels like he’ll never be able to take care of her again but still wants to know how she’s doing all the same.

14) He brings up the past:

much like you have done, your ex may bring up in conversation how great things were back when he was still with you.

This could mean that he’s trying to remind you of what is possible if you two are together again. It also means that there was some happiness in the relationship for him, making him sad to let that go.

15) He tries talking about memorable moments:

This type of behavior can be sparked by nostalgia; maybe one or both of you had a particular moment while at school that no one else knew about but just the two of you. Maybe it meant something different to each person, but now they’re remembering it as a good time and want another shot with you.

16) He mentions how much he misses and loves you:

This is a basic sign because not only does it show that he still cares about your feelings, but he also wants to be in your romantic company. Much like the rest of these actions, if your ex says this and means it, then there have been no other new relationships since the two of you split apart.

17) He asks specifically where you are going on vacation:

If he’s asking when you’re leaving or how long you’ll be gone, then he may want to spend time with you again by getting together while you’re away from home. This could mean that he looks forward to seeing what else there is between the two of you besides just being lovers.

18) Your friends tell you he talks about you frequently:

He may mention how great it was when the two of you were together. He could also talk about what he misses most about you or ask your friends questions if they’ve seen you out with another person recently.

19) He asks for a second chance:

If there isn’t someone else in the picture, then perhaps this is the best way to tell that he wants things to be romantic between the two of you again; asking directly shows his vulnerability and that he’s ready to move forward with you.

20) He asks you what your new relationship status is:

If you have a new guy in your life and haven’t bothered telling him this, then he may let it slip out in conversation even if he knows the answer already. This will let you know where his head is when it comes to whether or not there could still be a chance for the two of you.

Also Read: How To Know If Your Boyfriend Still Has Feelings For His Ex

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How do you know if your ex secretly wants you back?

You may have been with your ex for years, and then suddenly, out of the blue, they decide to break up. You’re heartbroken and think that you will never find another person who loves you as they do. Is it possible that your ex still has feelings for you? How can you know if they want you back or not? In this blog post, we’ll go over some signs that might indicate whether or not your ex is secretly wanting to get back together with you.

At times, breakups are the best thing that can happen to a relationship. Although it hurts and feels like there is no future for you, a breakup means that your partner’s true feelings were not good enough for them, or they felt like they could not handle what was going on in the relationship.

In some situations, ending things is necessary, but you may have to say goodbye to the relationship for good in other cases.

How do you know if your ex wants to get back together?

This article will go over some signs that might indicate whether or not their feelings have changed and they want another chance at a relationship with you. If you have been wondering whether or not your ex still loves you, here are some important signs to look out for when trying to determine if they want to get back together.

#1 They keep asking about you

When they truly regret a breakup, people often ask their friends and family how the person they broke up with is doing. Don’t be surprised if you find out that they are constantly asking about you and even want to know what you have been up to since the breakup.

If their behavior indicates that they frequently ask about your life, it might be possible that secretly they do want something more from you in the future.

#2 They continue to contact you

Although they might be going through a lot of different emotions and they are doing their best to move on, chances are, if your ex still has feelings for you, then they may continue to reach out to you. In other instances, the person could also have been using you as an emotional crutch or just a way of releasing stress.

They may continue to text or call to hear your voice, making them feel better about the breakup. However, they are still trying to reach out to you even though they know that they should not be doing so.

#3 They seem jealous of other people in your life

This is an important sign indicating whether or not their feelings for you have changed since the breakup. Your ex could tell you that it does not bother them if you decide to go on another date with someone while secretly can’t wait until they leave.

If your ex seems like they do not like seeing other people around, then there might be a chance that their feelings for you have grown stronger.

#4 They are still interested in your life

For a long time, they may feel like it is good to be apart and that they can’t handle being in the same room as you. However, if they are still interested in what you have been up to after some time has passed, then there might be a chance that their feelings for you have changed.

If your ex continues to ask about how your new job or relationship with someone else is going or where you plan to move next, this could mean that their feelings for you have grown stronger since the breakup.

#5 They try getting back together with you

In many cases, if your ex’s feelings for you haven’t changed, then they may not want anything more from the relationship except time spent away–time which can be spent on something else. However, if their feelings have changed, then they might do things to win you back.

This could include apologizing for the way they treated you or even sending a note explaining why it was best for both of you to break up.

#6 They want to be around you all the time

If your ex is interested in getting back together with you, they may try and spend as much time near you. You might find that they keep asking if they can tag along whenever you hang out with friends or go on dates with other people. If they seem to like this, then it is likely that their feelings have grown stronger since the breakup.

So how do you know if your ex wants another chance at a relationship with you? In many instances, it can be difficult to tell if your ex still wants to be in a relationship with you or not because they could be going through many different emotions at the time.

You will have to look out for these signs and observe their behavioral patterns before deciding whether or not they want another chance at a relationship with you. If you are interested in finding out whether or not your ex still loves you, then I would suggest that you give them space and try one of my other articles on how to get your ex back instead.

Read Also:  Why Does My Ex Want to Hang Out? [Reasons Explained]

What does it mean when a guy says he doesn’t know what he wants?

If you’re dating a guy who says he doesn’t know what he wants, it’s important to take some time to think about why this is happening.

For example, if your partner is struggling with work or family issues and needs space to figure out how they want their life to be shaped, then letting them have freedom, for the time being, might be best.

However, suppose your partner is not making any effort when it comes to planning anything together and seems content with just staying in the same place indefinitely. In that case, that could be an indication that something more serious may be going on.

If you feel that your partner is not moving forward in the relationship, you might want to ask him point-blank whether or not he wants to work things out.

You might also benefit from talking to a friend about how you’re feeling to help give yourself some perspective on the situation and find someone who will be willing to support you during this time if you decide to break things off with your partner.

Ex girlfriend doesn’t know what she wants

“I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years, and she recently broke up with me. She doesn’t know what she wants, and I am trying to find out why, but she gets upset any time I ask her about it. We used to have so much fun together, and now all we do is fight. It’s really hard on me because I’m not sure how long this breakup will last.”

Ex girlfriend doesn't know what she wants
Ex girlfriend doesn’t know what she wants

This blog post discusses the difficulties of being in a relationship where your significant other does not know what they want anymore. Being in a relationship can be difficult enough. Still, when your partner is unsure if they want to remain in the relationship, it can feel like walking on eggshells trying to make sure you’re doing everything right.

After all, most people are afraid of rejection and being disliked by someone they care about. Not knowing how to interact with this person is even harder. In addition, it can also feel like trying to push someone away (out of self-defense) because maybe you don’t want them to keep hurting you emotionally by constantly pushing you away. Or telling you that they don’t want to be with you anymore.

The best way to deal with this type of situation – in my opinion- is to find out what is going on with your partner and why they are unsure about the relationship.

Find out if she wants space or time apart from you:

Sometimes, people will use arguments as an excuse to break up with someone. If this sounds like her, then I would recommend being more patient.

Instead of pushing for a clear answer right away, try seeing if she wants space or time apart from you. Maybe this break is what she needs to think things through and feel more confident about the relationship.

Find out if she’s attracted to other people:

Sometimes when someone doesn’t want to be with their significant other anymore, they are not physically attracted enough to them anymore.

It might seem a bit shallow, but it’s the truth. If you do not feel like she is attracted to you anymore, she may just want to be with someone who makes her feel this way. I realize how that feels, and I can only imagine how hard it must be for you now knowing about these feelings of hers.

If your partner has been in an emotionally abusive relationship before and is unsure from years of being hurt by another person, maybe she now has trust issues or low self-esteem. This is why she isn’t sure if she wants to continue being with you.

How do you deal with a confused ex?

Dealing with a confused ex is not as easy as it may seem. It’s best to approach your relationship with them very gently and gradually, even if you’re angry or hurt by their behavior.

Confusion is a natural reaction when your partner breaks up with you. You might ask yourself why they left, what went wrong, or if there’s anything you can do to change their mind.

It may be difficult at first, but it’s important to understand that your ex has already made the decision, and there is nothing you can say or do to change their minds.

It would be best if you tried to control in this situation how you react and what message you send out into the world about yourself. No matter how hard it may seem right now, take time for yourself and don’t let this experience define who you are as a person because eventually, things will get better!

I’m not saying that it’s easy to deal with the confusion of a loved one. I know how difficult it can be, and it is trying on all who love them. These people are suffering from an illness, and you can’t remove their illness even if you wanted to. You have to accept them for who they are, and you have to love them for who they are too.

As a Christian, your ex-spouse may have rejected Christ because of their confusion. I know this is hard on you, but don’t take it personally. You can pray for your loved one, and as you continue in prayer, God will give you the wisdom to deal with your situation.


It can be tough for a person to know what he wants, and the best way to deal with this type of situation is by finding out why your partner may not want you anymore. Suppose they’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship before. It might have left them feeling insecure or unsure about themselves, which could make them feel like they don’t deserve someone who loves them unconditionally.

You must take time for yourself – no matter how hard it will seem right now- because things will get better soon enough. Take care of yourself and try not to let their confusion define who you are as a person because eventually, everything will work itself out!

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Leslie May
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Leslie May

Hi, I am Leslie B. May. I am a relationship expert with several years of experience. I run this blog to support people with different types of relationship problems and issues. In addition, I help people to get rid of psychological problems with simple but descriptive guides. Moreover, I love to write about tips and suggestions about relationships and help people decide wisely.