This blog post will explore the steps to make your first Christmas after divorce a success and help you avoid feeling alone during this special time of year. The holidays can be an especially difficult time when you’re not with your spouse.
At some point in their lives, everyone has had to deal with the painful and time-consuming process of a divorce. It can be especially challenging for children as they often feel as if their entire world is coming apart.
Because of this, many adults find themselves separated from their ex-spouse during this time of year, making things very hard on those dealing with the separation.
What is the first thing to do after a divorce?
If you’re ready to move on, then this is the time to do it! The first thing you need to do is join a support group or find someone who can serve as a mentor often. After divorce, people are afraid of being hurt again, which makes dating very difficult.
It’s important to remember that there are plenty of good and sincere people in this world, and you may need to take some time before you’re ready for another serious relationship.
If the holidays seem like the loneliest time of year for you, don’t let it get to that point. Make plans for when retirement comes, travel with a friend when possible, and do your best to surround yourself with people that care for you and want to be with you.
First Christmas After Divorce
This is a blog post about the first Christmas after divorce. It’s been three years, and I am still feeling sad that my marriage ended, but this year it helped me with family and friends who didn’t know what was going on in my life. We all just had fun together, and not one of us mentioned the word “divorce” once!
Here are 7 ideas for how to make your first Christmas after divorce as painless as possible:
1. Family Matters
I am very close with both of my parents, so it was important to me for this first Christmas after divorce to be spent with them. Not only did I spend the holiday with both sets of grandparents, but we all went out to dinner on New Year’s Eve as well.
I know that not everyone is lucky enough to have the kind of relationships I do with my family, but I am thankful that I can choose to be around the people who make me feel good about myself.
2. Escape If Needed
One Christmas after divorce, my best friend and I escaped to her beach house in South Carolina for four days. She wasn’t ready to surrender the holiday to the sadness that follows a breakup, and I was happy to go along for the ride.
We did everything we normally do together: yoga, shopping, cooking, gossiping. It felt like a mini-vacation from my life.
3. Keep Busy
Unfortunately, there aren’t many fun things going on in Atlanta in the middle of December. But if you live somewhere where holiday markets, ice skating, and concerts are happening all month long, go!
I went to a tree lighting ceremony at the CNN center last weekend And was reminded that there is plenty to do during the holidays other than dwelling on what’s missing from your life.
4. Don’t Give In To Guilt
I know it’s hard not to feel sad when your friends are all in relationships, but don’t let yourself feel guilty about being alone during this time. You didn’t do anything wrong, and the only person you owe an explanation to is YOU! I spent my holiday with people who love spending time with me. It was great.
5. Keep A Journal
I have found writing about my feelings to be very therapeutic. I had some great conversations with friends, but it just feels good to have an outlet for my emotions. If you don’t want to share your journal with anyone else, that’s OK too!
Putting your thoughts on paper is a great way to get them out of your head and onto something you can hold.
6. Don’t Try To Measure Up
Making new traditions is hard enough, but trying to live up to the ones that were taken from you will cause even greater sadness. Keep doing the things that make YOU happy, and try not to worry about what other people think.
Some people might not understand why you aren’t going home with your spouse, but that is their problem, not yours!
7. Create A New Tradition
I haven’t figured out what my new family holiday traditions will be yet, but I can tell you a few things I want to do: make a gingerbread house with the kids, have a white elephant gift exchange, and see The Nutcracker. Embrace new traditions that make you feel good about yourself, and don’t worry about what anyone else will think!
How to Deal With Being Alone on First Christmas after Divorce
The first thing you need to do is remember that this is not your fault. There is nothing you have done or failed to do for your spouse to decide to leave, so it’s vital not to blame yourself.
If you find yourself asking what you did wrong, remind yourself that it’s not your fault and do your best to put the thoughts aside.
While it’s very common for many people going through a divorce to feel depressed and lonely, this is not something that needs to be ignored. Christmas time can make these feelings even more pronounced, and therefore it’s important to be kind to yourself.
Take the time you’d spend thinking about how your ex is spending Christmas without you and do things that make you happy instead.
Many people enjoy collecting items for the family at a local shelter, which can help you feel as if you’re making a difference.
In addition, doing good deeds for someone other than what you would typically expect from yourself can be very rewarding and help you feel happier and more in control of your life.
If you’re looking for a new career during the holidays, consider online business training programs that can help you earn a living and increase the opportunities for advancement.
Another option is to put yourself on an expense account by taking time to focus on your hobbies and interests. When money is tight, it can help you focus on yourself and learn how to be more content with what you have.
Whichever way you choose to spend your first Christmas after divorce, it must bring you some measure of happiness. If not, remember that the holidays are not an obligation but a time for celebrating friendship, family, and love.
How do I get through my first Christmas after divorce?
The first step that you need to take is to learn how to be happy again. If your spouse decides to leave, then it’s for a reason, and therefore there’s nothing that can be done about the situation.
The best thing you can do for yourself is allowing yourself the time to heal emotionally while either focusing on work or other aspects of your life.
If you’re spending this time of year feeling sad and alone, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to make plans with friends or family.
You may even be surprised by how other people feel about your situation once they learn what’s going on. Often, other people want to help but don’t know how and simply knowing that you’re not alone can help tremendously.
When we think of Christmas, we often think about spending time with loved ones and reflecting on the good things in our lives, so allow yourself some time to do this while focusing on what you have rather than what is missing.
If you had children together, it’s very important to keep them involved in the holiday activities. Christmas is important to children, and they too will need time to heal emotionally, so you mustn’t shut them out of your life during this period.
Take some time for yourself over the holidays while remembering why you’re spending it alone. It may be very difficult at first, but the more you give in to your emotions, the harder it will be to move on in the future.
If you feel yourself slipping into depression or suicidal thoughts, seek out someone who can help before it’s too late.
It may be hard to imagine what the first Christmas after divorce will look like. You might even think it’s impossible to enjoy this time of year because you’re feeling so much pain and sadness right now.
We hope you found this blog post helpful, and we wish you luck with your first Christmas after divorce. Whether you’re hosting the holiday festivities or not, please enjoy yourself and make sure to take care of yourself throughout the day.
If there’s anything that we can do for you, don’t hesitate to reach out in the comments below. Happy Holidays from our family to yours.