How To Deal With An Avoidant Partner? Dealing with an avoidant partner can be difficult. It’s important to remember that it is not your fault, and you are not alone in this struggle. There are many different signs of avoidance, but the most common one is withdrawal from relationships and personal space. This can lead to depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and other mental health issues for those involved.
They may seem cold and distant at times, but this is not usually their intention. They are often just afraid of getting close to someone as they might get hurt in the future. But it’s hard for them when other people get too close or tell them that they love them as this can worsen the situation.
They are often emotionally unavailable, not affectionate or caring, and can be dismissive of your needs. One way to deal with this kind of situation is by setting boundaries. For example, if they refuse for you to hug them because it makes them uncomfortable, but they are still willing to date you, tell them that you won’t date someone who doesn’t want a hug from their significant other.
This may seem harsh at first glance; however, in reality, it’s just part of being a good partner and communicating what we need as individuals.
How to deal with an avoidant partner? Top 7 Tips
It can be challenging to cope with an avoidant partner. They are often very independent and may not want you to get too close to them. When they do engage, it is usually in a controlling way. There are ways of dealing with this type of behaviour to help you develop a healthier relationship while still respecting their boundaries. Here are the top 7 tips for coping with an avoidant partner:
1. Avoid anger:
Avoidant partners are often filled with fear and anxiety. They do not usually show their emotions or even talk things through. You might get angry at them for this, but try to remember that it is just a part of who they are. Ask yourself if you’re angry at your partner or if you’ve become upset because of the situation.
2. Practice patience:
Avoidant people are very independent. They prefer to do things on their own and don’t like letting anyone else in. It will take a lot of patience to establish trust.
3. Talk about your feelings without attacking or blaming them:
Avoidants need encouragement to open up. They are usually worried about being rejected or abandoned, so they barely ever talk about their feelings. It is important to let them know that it’s okay to express themselves and you’re there for support.
4. Communicate needs more directly and assertively (without demanding):
Most avoidants will have a hard time saying no. You might feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them and that they don’t care about what you need. Try taking charge of your own needs instead of waiting for them to do so. State simple things in an assertive tone, such as “I need you to accompany me today, and I’d appreciate it if you would come with us.”
5. Acknowledge their feelings:
We all feel uncomfortable when having conversations about feelings. We like to put them aside and move on as if nothing happened. This does not work well for avoidants, though; they need acknowledgement and warmth when it comes to emotions. Realize that they are often very sensitive and hold their feelings in.
6. Stay calm:
Avoidants are usually good at being rational but can easily turn into a “hothead.” They may argue with you over nothing or make blanket statements about things they know little about. Try not to take their comments personally, as they are not trying to hurt you. This is another reason why an emotionally unavailable relationship with avoidants can be challenging.
7. Accept that conflict:
Avoidants might not seem to be a lot of fun at first glance. They can also become super annoying when they don’t open up and tell you anything about their feelings or the things they like in life. Give it some time, though; once you’ve established trust between each other, things will eventually get less awkward between both of you.
These are some simple tips on how to deal with an avoidant partner. They can be annoying at times, but with patience and understanding, you’ll be able to form a healthier relationship with them. If you’re feeling drained by this type of person, it might also help to get support from other people in the same situation as you.
Also Read: How to avoid marital conflict
What Is Avoidant Attachment In Relationships?
Avoidant attachment is something that highly independent and intelligent people may experience. It’s often linked to a history of rejection, abandonment or neglect in the past and can lead to partners preferring to avoid intimacy instead of risking further pain.
They are more likely to have experienced emotionally unavailable parents, caregivers who were inconsistent or dismissive of their needs as a child. As a result, these individuals may have learned to protect themselves from rejection and abandonment by becoming more distant, self-sufficient and independent.
Educating your partner on avoidant attachment is one of the best ways to help them change their behavior as they won’t be able to grasp why they behave this way until they understand what is causing it.
How To Cope With An Avoidant Partner
If your partner has been diagnosed with avoidant attachment disorder, you will have to be patient, as this is a long process, and they may need more than one session of therapy to get better. However, if you are dealing with someone who behaves this way from time to time, there are some tips you can follow to cope better.
Work on developing self-esteem and being more assertive, as these will help you set boundaries for yourself while also improving your confidence. In addition, teach by example and be more affectionate with those around you, especially with friends and family members when they need it.
People with an avoidant attachment will often withdraw from relationships when they feel insecure and overwhelmed, so helping them, or others around you feel better may help them open up again and not retreat into themselves as a way of dealing with their emotions.
Another thing that can help is simply discussing the situation objectively (you can do this with a therapist if you think it will help). This allows both partners in the relationship to understand each other’s points of view, feelings and concerns.
Do avoidants end relationships?
Sometimes avoidants end relationships because they feel smothered by their partner or like they don’t have enough space in the relationship to be themselves. They also might not cope well when their partner becomes clingy and jealous.
However, most avoidants will only end a relationship if it gets too close for them. Avoidant dating someone with an anxious attachment will avoid intimacy at all costs as they don’t want to risk getting hurt. They might also start thinking that their partner is too needy or clingy and not trying hard enough to understand them in the long run.
Avoidants dating someone with a secure attachment style will be more likely to stay as long as there is a balance between their independence and the amount of time they are spending with each other in the relationship.
When avoidants end a relationship, it can be hard for them to get closure because they tend not to speak about it much afterwards. Therefore, being more open about your problems or concerns helps avoidants be more comfortable with being honest and open about their emotions.
How Avoidants Fall In Love
Avoidants will fall in love quickly, but they will also pull away just as fast because they are scared that the person they have grown close to may end up hurting them. However, once an avoidant has overcome some of these fears and opened up more, they may take their relationship a lot more seriously and even fall in love.
Why Does An Avoidant Push People Away?
Avoidants tend to push people away when they feel a strong emotional connection with someone for three key reasons –
- The first being that they are afraid of intimacy, as mentioned previously.
- The second reason is that avoidants feel like they will be smothered if their partner becomes too clingy or smothering and
- The third is because avoidants tend to feel insecure when someone gets close to them and will therefore push them away as a way of protecting themselves.
The Best Ways To Deal With An Avoidant Partner
When dealing with an avoidant, you need to realize that they need their own space and freedom within the relationship and shouldn’t be smothered by you. This is especially important in stressful situations like an argument or fight as if your avoidant feels suffocated he will want to pull away from you.
Avoidants usually feel a lot better when given some time and space to themselves. By giving them this freedom within your relationship, you will maintain a healthy balance between spending time with each other and relaxing alone.
Please stop trying to analyze your avoidant partner all the time or control their every move, as this will make him feel even more stifled and smothered than he already is, which may even force him to end the relationship.
One of the best things you can do for your avoidant partner is to give him time and space to himself, be assertive within the relationship and let him know when you are feeling smothered or need more attention from him. This way, he will understand what is going on in your head before you become too clingy.
Avoidants who are dating someone with an anxious attachment style should let them know that they will understand their feelings, and if they need more time to talk about something, give them time. Avoidants should also try and be as open as possible with this partner. So put their emotions out there for her.
If you’re dealing with an avoidant partner, it’s important to remember that they may not be comfortable opening up about their feelings. Advice: It is best to incorporate short pauses in the conversation to take a moment and process what has been said before continuing. You should also make sure you speak at a conversational level not to overwhelm them or put pressure on them.
Remembering these tips will help your loved one feel more secure in communicating with you and getting closer emotionally! Hopefully, one of these ideas helps out. Let me know if this advice helped in the comments below!